Must Lose Weight.

Me 5 Years Ago

It's that time of the year when I'm feeling soooo heavy and to add insult to injury, I saw some very unflattering photos of myself (and yes they are actually posted on-line) that i just want to pull a Blair Waldorf!  I MUST do something.  Gone are the days I actually fit into a size zero, and I could wear sleeveless tops without feeling conscious about my what-I-call upper legs (i.e. chubby arms)!  I've moved on from the XS to the L and ughh sometimes XL, but I'll never forgive myself if I start shopping in the plus size section (some even call it "women's sizes" - whatever).

I know I am capable of losing weight - I've done it several times, but the problem is actually maintaining my ideal weight.  I'm naturally big-boned (a.k.a. "tabain") and it takes a whole lot of will power and discipline to watch what I eat and exercise.  If you've been reading my blog in the last few months, you know that I LOVE FOOD.  And it's not just the eating part of it, but the creating part of it, and the sharing part of it, and the blogging part of it.  I just find it too fun.  But looking at my recent photos, and just a few days ago, looking at the weighing scale, it ain't fun no more!!!  Okay, so I take it back - it's still fun, but I decided to channel my interests to something that will make me a healthier, happier person.

I don't rant so much in this blog, but one of the things my close friends know about me is that I get stressed out too easily - mostly (if not all) about work.  I tend to over-think every single situation that at the end of the day, I'm exhausted, physically and mentally.  Ahh... and what a great excuse to binge and slack and not do anything else!  A few angels told me though that it really is a choice you make.  Why the heck did I choose to work 12 hours a day and be miserable?  I can create a whole long list why, but I'd rather focus on what I should be doing instead.  So...

Today, I worked from home and when the clock struck 5, I took a shower, put on comfy clothes and shoes and headed out for a walk.  In my one and a half years of stay in Chicago, I finally chose not to be stuck at home with my work laptop, stressing over unfinished work that will never be finished anyway... I got home at 6, saw the love of my life who just came from work, and I gave him a big hug - I'm a lucky girl.

And like I said earlier, I'll be channeling my interests to something healthier - ergo, instead of eating very tempting leftover party food (see previous post), I whipped up a nice salad made of mixed greens, salsa verde, cilantro, black beans, tortilla chips, cheese (just a little, hehe), fresh lime juice, a drizzle of olive oil and ranch dressing, and lots and lots of freshly cracked black pepper.  It was so refreshing, but I would have to admit, it's been almost four hours, and I'm feeling a little hungry right now!  Time to drink a glass of water... whoever said it was easy?! :-)

South of the Border Salad

I just had to take a picture of it all mixed up.  Next time I'll leave out the salsa verde (which came from a jar) because it kind of diluted the natural flavors of the fresher ingredients.  Would also be great if I had guacamole, but then it's going to pile on more calories.

It's a jungle in there, hehehe!

I've had many "Day 1s" and my hubby's been teasing me about it!  But I know I can take it from here.  There's really more to it than looking good and being able to fit in all the nice clothes.  And I hope to get there.  That's good enough motivation for me.