Saturday, June 29, 2013

A Simple Good Life

I've been meaning to go out for a walk last week but the weather wasn't conducive for a nice stroll downtown with my innocent little baby (hehe).  Today was an unusually cold summer day and since it's Saturday, hubby joined us for a walk and a little shopping!  Michigan avenue is the place to be in Chicago downtown for some serious shopping and though we live a 15-minute-walk away, I rarely go there.  So today was the day... and hopefully more days to come.  Better make the most of summer before we head back home.

As we walked down the famous avenue with our decadent Ghirardelli drinks, I thought, God has been good to me.  Wow.  Looking at my dear little family, I felt all giddy and proud.

And just when I started thinking about what our life would be like when we move back to the Philippines, what challenges await us, blah, blah, blah... Heck, it's a great day.  I chose to just soak it all in.

And Madi agreed with me. :-)

Friday, June 28, 2013

DIY Headbands for Madison

So really I was supposed to go out today to start my MLW goal.  But it rained.  Really, it did! :-)  So no  walking done, but I was productive.  Being the kikay mom that I am, I love dressing up my little girl!  I have been browsing practically everyday for baby headbands, but I find them very expensive.  What's the big deal?!  Then I saw some headband materials lying around the living room shelf screaming for me to use them - they are left overs from the baby shower and already gathering dust, tsk, tsk.  I wanted to make something that would not look like a school project, so I found myself browsing for tutorials on youtube, starting with the very basic bow.  Good thing I have all the materials on hand...

This video did it for me.  It's really super easy - it got so addictive and I could've done a lot more if only I had no other chores, and of course, my model needed some attention too!  I made three today since it's my daughter's third month birthday!

The one in the middle had ready made flowers, so I just added another bow for a more girly touch.  I have yet to let Madi wear all of them, but here's a photo of her with the very first one I made.  I have a feeling I'll have more posts like this.

Thursday, June 27, 2013

Must Lose Weight.

My daughter is turning 3 months' old tomorrow and I'm happy how she turned out to be a happy, healthy baby.  Really so happy with that.  With all the challenges I've overcome in the last three months, I'm quite proud of myself (and my husband of course).  The journey is definitely still on, but I'm in a place where I now think I need to do something about myself.  I must lose weight.  As I've been breastfeeding exclusively, I know I could not go into crash diet mode, which I've proven as effective several times in the past. So what I will do, is to gradually lose weight - starting with eating healthy and doing a little bit more walking.  I have yet to gather the guts to go out alone with my daughter as I'm used to the security I have with my husband being beside me all the time.  I think I'll start by going to the park tomorrow.

Tuesday, June 11, 2013

I hope I get through the end of this post...

Why hello, blogger!  Yes, I'm still alive and glad to be since I've never been so exhausted in my life for the past two months - and counting.  If you're one of the few who've been following my posts, well... our little angel has finally arrived!  Our baby was already overdue by a little more than a week, and after our final ultrasound, it was found out that she was a whopping 10-pounder baby!  So... after 10 seconds of convincing by our doctor (ha!), little Madi said "hello world" on Maundy Thursday, March 28th, at 3 o'clock in the afternoon.  She came out 9 lbs 10 oz and oh so perfect (why, of course).  Our doctor called her "Pudgy". :-) Yup, I had C-section which I thought was such a blessing for my fearful, low-pain-tolerance self, but it turned out to be even worse during recovery.  I'm so glad I that's all behind me now.  Alleluia!

Our baby is now on her 3rd month.  And now as I type this, she started crying... I guess my post title didn't hold up.

Unicorns, rainbows, and all those cutesy stuff all day long are pure myth.  Having a baby is hard work, but it's also true that it will be worth every sleepless night, headache, breastfeeding scab, and tear (lots of them) once your baby starts smiling and cooing and just being her healthy happy self.  Even the thought of her being all ours already puts a smile to my face every 15 minutes or so... then she cries and my heart beats a little faster.  Great, what does she want now?  I just fed her 15 minutes ago.  Did she get enough breast milk?  Do I have enough breast milk? These are just few questions that run through my tired brain 24X7.  And speaking of breast milk, breast feeding is one big battle altogether.  I almost gave up the first week, especially when Madi lost a lot of weight.  Thank God for friends and family who cheered me on and gave me hope that IT DOES GET BETTER.  And after the third pedia visit, which by the way was always nerve-wracking for me, Madi finally gained back her birth weight -- plus more.  I almost did a happy dance in front of the nurse.

Our world practically revolves around Madi - she always comes first.  Gone are the days we have peaceful uninterrupted meals and spur-of-the moment movie nights.  We don't have schedules now - they're never followed anyway.  I don't shop 'til I drop anymore (hurray for hubby).  Forever 21 was erased from my list of top sites - it was replaced by Zulily (a mother and baby shopping site).  Okay, so I take back what I said about me not shopping!  It's a different kind of high getting cute stuff and deals for my baby.  So it's still fun.
I can go on and on about my experiences being a first time mom, but one thing's for sure... you can never be prepared for it.  I knew it will be hard, but I never thought it would be this HARD.  Coupled with post partum depression and recovering from surgery, I found myself sobbing every day during the first few weeks.  No amount of help and encouragement from my mom or my hubby can stop the emotional toil and physical pain of taking care of a newborn.  Self doubt, exhaustion, and my own innocent little baby were my nemeses.  Yes, my baby.  Having to deal with her limitless and sometimes inexplicable cries is SCARY.  Checking if she's still breathing every few minutes during nap time is still a habit of mine - thanks to my fear  of SIDS.
I am very lucky though that Madi has such a wonderful father.  My dear husband has exceeded all my expectations.  He's hands on, and so much in love with his little girl.  He's better at swaddling and putting her to sleep - I've conceded since day one.  Oh, and Madi looks just like him!  I've conceded as well!  I can just imagine how our daughter would grow up to be a Daddy's girl, and I am totally fine with that. :-) As long as he lets me dress up Madi in whatever way I want!  At least until she's old enough to impose her choice of outfit and accessories... so I got a few years...

I still have so much more to learn and go through in this new phase in my life.  Motherhood brought out the worst, then the best of me.  Just look at that smile - it's all worth it!